Valentine’s day is a day for celebrating love. If you have a partner who remembers to get your flowers or chocolate, you get to feel lucky, important and valued. But for many, this day only serves as a reminder that one is lonely and unimportant, that one is irrelevant because there is no one to be loved by.
Do you feel relevant or irrelevant?
Thing is, going between feeling relevant and irrelevant happens to most people on a regular basis every day, not just on Valentine’s day. V-day, just brings it out more.
Think about it: Do you get angry when someone cuts you off in traffic, speaks rudely to you, interrupts you while you are speaking, ignores you, disregards your needs, makes you feel used, takes advantage of you or “forgets” about you?
Why do you think you get angry or hurt? How does it really make you feel?
Most likely, the situation has made you feel somewhat irrelevant. Like you don’t matter.
It’s one of the reasons why holidays like Valentine’s Day can be so difficult for so many.
If people felt more valued and relevant regularly, there would likely be less fighting, road rage, depression, anxiety and other illness, as well as job satisfaction.
A study based on surveys of more than 1700 full- and part-time employees in the US showed that people who feel valued are more likely to have better physical and mental health and higher levels of engagement, satisfaction and motivation.
So what can you do about it?
Certainly, no one can make you feel relevant or irrelevant without your consent.
Sure, people who adore you, accomplishments you achieve, obstacles you overcome, and being connected to places and parts of nature you are in awe of help. But if you don’t start to believe you are relevant simply because you exist, no amount of flowers, money, or beautiful sunsets will be enough. You cannot base your sense of relevancy on other people or external things.
You are relevant simply because you exist and you have a heart that can love and be loved. Celebrate yourself because you exist and you can start by getting yourself some flowers, chocolate, a massage, a day off, a whatever you heart desires.
Happy Valentine’s Day!